More work on Mom & Dad's portrait - moving forward; getting close...

 In the past three weeks, I've been working steadily on my parents' portrait.

I had paused it for about six months, then, with great trepidation, worked up to resuming work on it in May. One step was to announce, to a group I'm part of, my intention just to uncover it and look at it. (About a month before that, I'd announced to the group my gentle suggestion to myself that I might be ready to resume work on it. It took another month before I actually started again - but it was still May, just barely.)

Here's what I wrote after that first day back: "I did uncover The Portrait and look at it, this last week, and made a list of all the areas I want to/need to do more work in. I find lists really helpful! Especially at a late stage, where I'm kinda going, um, what does this still need, to be finished? Without a list I tend to answer that with "everything;" with a list, I'm able to start saying, okay, that part's actually finished, and so is that, and actually there's not really very much left to do..."

Here's the list:

(You can see it's written on the back of a car insurance thingy... that last word on that one line of the list? It's "drama" - edge Mom's shoulder and sleeve: contrast/drama." I love the thought...)

I did a bit on this in May, and then some various things intervened in June, including a little half-day Arts & Crafts thing at church, and then the weather, and some other things I forget, and it was another month before I did more. In late June I recommitted to steady work on it for the following week. But was feeling it difficult - scary - to get back to work.

Day One of the three days, the next week, I felt terrified beforehand, and deeply discouraged afterward. Well - afterward I was in full-on tantrum mode, if you want to know the truth...

Day Two: I celebrated that I did it! Just 15 minutes, on my dad's shirt, which felt way easier than working on faces. Given that it was rather hot here and I was sweating away, I was in a reasonable mood. The hot, dry air was challenging for painting. It was too easy to get a lot of hard edges, and not easy at all to soften them. But I felt okay about it. Neutral. Neither great nor horrible.

Day Three: Here's where it really started to shift. I worked 35 minutes, and was feeling decidedly more confident.

This isn't the first time I've experienced this three-day progression of feelings as I begin or get back into a working rhythm on a piece: the terror and despair; followed by kind-of-okay, I-think-I-can-do-this; followed by this-is-starting-to-feel-pretty-good! I find it important to note and remember those progressions. Then, when they hit (especially that Day One), I can go, oh, yeah, I remember this! It gets better...

The next week I only worked one day, and it was a skimpy 15 minutes, but it was helpful. Let's see if I can find the photo from that day:

Got it. I did more work on Dad's beard, which was fun, and some shadow on his face, which helped me see that working on the shadow side, for both of them, is a significant thing this needs.

Then I gave in to the weather, which was too hot, and by the following week I was getting ready to head down to L.A.

Those were some key moments in coming back to working on this portrait.

Last week I re-resumed work on it, following my L.A. trip. I worked twice last week and three times this week. (My working stretches, in case I haven't mentioned it, are not very long these days - sometimes just 15 minutes, sometimes 30 or 45 minutes.) Now it's feeling like I'm really coming to understand more about it, and also I'm enjoying "hanging out" with my parents this way.

Here's the latest:

Oh - have to back up a bit: there was a bit I added to Mom's hair, which then, of course, looked like it didn't fit/had been added. I've been working on making that fit it, which is finally working. Thank you, Chinese White! (Which I finally understand how to use...) Here's how it looked before:

Even though I darkened the window frame behind that, it still looks like an added-on blobby thing here, kind of. But now it's really better.

And another little bit I worked on, last week: Dad's hand around Mom's waist...

There it is, for the moment. I don't know how much longer it will take, but it feels like it's getting close.

Tech tip: do you want to see any of these larger? Click on the image to make it almost-full-browser-window size. (This is not the same as "full screen...")